Ah, it's later

I did say I may come back later. So, this qualifies.

Back from my world tour

No, not really but it amused me for about 2.5 seconds to say that.

Yes, it's been quite awhile since I updated my blog. Since I have no inclination to go back and cover everything that has happened since the last entry, I'll just leave things alone on that score.

What's going on now is that I now have a college freshman. So far, she's doing okay but when some ladies at church asked me about her and then speculated that I probably miss her I laughed and told them that I can't really miss her because she won't go away. She's supposed to be living in the dorm but so far she's managed to come home for one thing or another several times a week. If gas prices weren't so high, I really wouldn't mind but gas prices are high so I'm trying to encourage her to hold off at least until Saturdays before coming home. We'll see.

I may come back later.

School Administrators Who Don't Suck

They could be out there somewhere but I don't know if I really believe in them. My experience as a parent with two kids in the public school system has shown me that most School Administrators do suck.

As a prime example, I offer you this tidbit.

The assistant principal at my kids' high school called me yesterday morning. She said that she had my 13 yr old in her office. The AP's story was that an email written by my daughter to a local radio station had been read on the air by the morning dj and that in the email, my daughter had said she was being sexually harrassed by another student at (her high school's name here) and now the AP was concerned that reputation of (the high school's name) was at risk.

Now let me point out to the reader that the AP had not herself heard the email. No, she had been contacted by another teacher who called the school in a panic.

The AP made it clear that her call was about the accusation of sexual harrassment and the reputation of the school. I could hear my daughter's sobs in the background of the call, by the way. The AP asked me if we had been told of any such harrassment and I responded that yes, we knew there was a weird kid who was hanging around our daughter, who sang to her, told her she was pretty, and generally acted like he had a big crush on her. The AP immediately snarked that my daughter should have told a counselor about it and I responded that we hadn't thought it was bad enough for her to do that and that we had thought that her just telling him to leave her alone was enough.

The AP continued with the issue of the sexual harrassment issue and I asked her if my daughter had actually used those words. She paused and then asked my daughter who responded that she had not. I also asked the AP when my daughter had written the email. The AP asked that question of her and she said she had done it at home.

I proceeded to pull up the email in question on my daughter's computer and read it in it's entirety to the AP, who actually chuckled at one point.

Please remember dear reader, that the point of the call was about an accusation of sexual harrassment.

After reading the email aloud, I pointed out to the AP that at no time did my daughter use the words 'sexual harrassment' and I suggested that perhaps the dj had himself used the words while talking about the email. The AP acknowledged that the words were not in the email but immediately tried to pounce on the fact that in the email, my daughter had called the weird kid a 'psychopath'. The AP snarked that she shouldn't have called him that and it wasn't nice. I pointed out that it might not be nice but it was her opinion and I also pointed out that the email was written and sent from home on my daughter's own personal time, not school time/property.

The AP insisted on harping on the 'psychopath' thing and I called her on it. "Hold on here. You called me on a completely different matter which was that you were told she had accused the boy of sexually harrassing her. You just can't switch it up here and say that now she's in trouble for saying something that wasn't nice about another student."

Reader, rest assured that the Thought Police, along with their co-horts, The Politically Correct Brigade, are alive and well and most likely working in your local public school system. I know this because the AP proceeded to tell me how it wasn't nice that my daughter had said those things about the boy and she asked me how I would like it if someone had said that about me or my daughter. I responded that I wouldn't like it but that I couldn't stop it as it would be someone's personal opinion, which is not a crime.

Sensing that we were getting nowhere, I asked the AP what disciplinary action she was going to take and she said that she would just have my daughter apologize to the boy. I told her that I would contact the radio station and ask them to make an on air clarification that there was no sexual harrassment going on at the school and the call ended.

Since I had not been able to get in touch with my husband at his office, and I was in a fine fit of anger, I foolishly did not insist that my daughter not be forced to apologize for something that I clearly felt was not wrong. That was my mistake and I regret it now horribly.

I emailed the radio station and not long afterwards, I received an email response from the dj who told me that the words 'sexual harrassment' were never used and that he had merely read the email as he does all his other email. I thanked him by return email for his response and clarification and added, "Please, feel free to openly and frequently mock stupid school administrators on your show whenever possible." It is my sincerest wish that he will do so, and quickly.

It was now clear to me that the teacher who had called the school in a panic about some student being sexually harrassed had either mischaracterized or misunderstood the email that was read. As a direct result of that, the ASSistant principal (yeah, I meant to do that) sprang into action in an effort to punish somebody for something, even if she didn't know what or how that would happen.

I forwarded the dj's email to me to the AP, with these comments from me:

"Ms. AP,

According to the response that we have just received from the DJ at the radio station, this whole event of calling (my daughter) into the school office, raking her over the coals, reducing her to tears, and then making her apologize to that student was an over-reaction and completely unnecessary. The words 'sexual harrassment' were never used by the DJ on-air, or by (my daughter) in her email.

(My husband and I)"

Her sanctimonious response was pretty much what we expected. She said that it didn't matter that there was no sexual harrassment but the school tried to make students feel safe. My daughter had said things that weren't nice about another student whether they were true or not (uh....lady....) and that she didn't feel it was unnecessary to have her apologize. Pretty much it was the standard procedure of "nevermind what you as a parent think, We at the School are right and you can't do anything about it."

After my daughter got home, I immediately talked to her about things and made it clear that she had done nothing wrong. It might not have been a great idea to email the radio station but who knew her email was going to be read on the air? Plus, she didn't say anything that was untrue. I also told her that if she ever got into another situation at school, she was to insist that they call me and have me come up there.

My daughter told me that the AP had accused her of being jealous of the boy (he had won a contest at the radio station which prompted my daughter to send the email) and that she only wanted to get attention. And, when my daughter had broken down in tears, the AP went so far as to accuse her of faking her tears so that the AP would feel sorry for her.

What a Bitch! I don't know of many 13 year old girls who could stand up to that whole "Bad Cop" routine, much less my tender hearted kid, who by the way is an Honor Student and who has never, ever been a discipline problem at home or at school. But you can bet I'm not going to sit back and allow some recessive gene with a teaching degree get off without hearing what I have to say about it.

What is it with these administrators and teachers who lack common courtesy and the intelligence and good judgment on how to handle situations like this? That woman treated my kid like a hardened juvenile delinquent and pretty much verbally bullied her. Where was the concern that my daughter might have actually been sexually harrassed? Why did the focus turn from that issue to making my daughter out to be the bad guy?

What about that little matter of freedom of speech? The last time I checked, school administrators don't have jurisdiction over what a student does or says on their own time. That email wasn't passed around at school, nor was it read over the intercom at school. Had the AP not leaped before looking and listening, this debacle would have never occurred and the kid, who by the way was bugging my daughter at school, would have remained as clueless as he is at this moment. And my daughter, who was innocent of wrongdoing, would not have been barbecued by that idiot at the school.

Past experiences with the schools, as well as hearing the experiences of other parents, tells me that the usual tactics of the schools in these situations is to mostly do nothing and make it difficult for the parents and the children in the hopes that out of frustration the parents give up. It's a tried and true tactic. How far are parents supposed to push issues in an attempt to take up for their kids when we parents know for a fact how rough teachers and administrators can make it for a child? Short of being able to file lawsuits at will or switch schools, it feels like there is little we can do really.

In her previously mentioned response to me, the AP also issued what I consider some sort of implied threat by saying that she hoped the boy's parents didn't want to pursue the issue. I don't give a damn if they want to pursue this and the AP better check her memory banks because apparently she forgot that the primary issue of her calling me was that there was the question of my daughter being sexually harrassed. In today's climate where a male co-worker who compliments a female worker on her perfume can be accused of sexual harrassment, I don't think it would be wise to make my kid out to be the bad guy because she called a boy a psychopath.

All this has really fired me up, as you can see from this long entry. I want to respond to that snarky email from the AP but my husband has pointed out that she isn't likely to allow us the last word and as mentioned above, they could make it really bad on both our kids at the school. He's most likely right but it really pisses me the hell off that this happened.

I'm going to consider sending copies of all the correspondence in this matter to members of the school board and superintendent. Maybe, maybe not. It will depend on whether there is any additional fallout on my daughter at school. I forgot to mention that one of her teachers told her that she had done nothing wrong and didn't deserve to get into any trouble at all. At least there's one with a brain and cognitive abilities over there.

Peach

I Give Up

If the friend who decided to take a road trip happens to tune in to this, I sure would appreciate it if you would email me to let me know how you're doing. I know that things in your life weren't going so well at the time and you needed time to clear your head, but I miss hearing about your daily walks with your dog and the interesting conversations you had with your neighbors. I'm also developing a huge paranoia complex and wondering what it is about me that drives people away.

So....how about it? Can you just please drop me an email to let me know you're doing alright?

Thanks very much.

The More Things Change. . .

I'm sure you can finish that little saying. But gosh darn it, it appears to be true.

After being a member of a particular forum (in several incarnations) for several years, I finally had my fill of crap and quietly stopped posting. Occasionally, I peek in to see how one or two people are doing but I haven't posted in quite some time and after refreshing my memory by reading some archived posts, I doubt that I will ever post there again. My opinions on almost everything are completely different from probably 98% of the people who are there. Frankly, there was only one area that where I shared common ground with most of the people and to my surprise, it appears that their stances have now even changed somewhat on that issue.

Growing up, growing apart, whatever the case; I just know that aside from a very few people there, I would not want to mix socially with the majority of people there. They may be the nicest people in the world, but I just don't think we would have many things in common.

I Just Called To Say...

I loved the movie "Serenity". It was a crappy thing for the network to do when they cancelled the tv series "Firefly", but thank goodness Joss Whedon stuck to his guns and made the movie a reality. The cast is excellent, the story was great, the directing was great, and all around, it was a great movie. How many more times can I use the word great? Great question.

While he appears to be a ne'er-do-well sort, Capt. Malcolm Reynolds does have a code of honor, and he looks good too. Real Good. One could even say, he looks great. Seriously, I don't know if the part was written for Nathan Fillion, or if Nathan Fillion is that (wait for it. . .) great of an actor, maybe both; but, he seems very much at ease playing the part.

The rest of the cast/crew are a really good fit. I'd be willing to bet they really had a lot of fun doing this movie. I hope that there will be another movie because there is just too much story stretching out in front of us to not know what happens from here. The characters are far too real to just leave go now.

Go, Joss! Go!

Crushed

Years ago when I was in junior high, my English Literature class had been assigned a research paper. Of course this meant an exciting Saturday at the Public Library with our index cards at the ready.

When I got to the Library, I was a bit nervous because I had found out that a cute guy was coming with the rest of the group and yes, I had a secret crush on that guy. We were friends and even took piano lessons from the same teacher and we were both voracious readers, but I'm positive he didn't know that I had such a big crush on him.

Anyway, so there we all were, shuffling to and from the card catalog with our rubber banded packs of index cards. We were all basically hurrying to finish up our research so that we could sit and whisper quietly until our parents came and picked us up. Getting time out of the house on a Saturday was pretty cool, except for the research stuff.

I finally finished pulling resources and listing everything on my cards and sat down at a table where a couple of my girl friends were already seated. One of my friends saw someone she knew and invited her to come sit with us. We were all introduced and I thought to myself how pretty this girl was and how she seemed to really be smart and funny.

A couple of minutes later, "my crush" cruised by and spotted the new girl at our table. Down he sat, eager to be introduced. The new girl grinned and continued with her story which involved her saying, "So the next day, we had to go to Temple...". All of a sudden, my eyes got big and I blurted out, "Temple? Are you a Jew?" The next second, "my crush" whipped his head around and practically spat at me in anger, "Yes, she's a Jew! What's the matter with you? Is there something wrong with her being a Jew?!"

Of course, everyone sat there stunned. First, at my admittedly ill-timed and inappropriate question, but secondly at how vicious the boy's response was. I could feel my face turning hot and the tears were fast welling up in my eyes. I tried to stutter out that I had only asked because I had never had the opportunity to meet someone who was Jewish and that of course there was nothing wrong with her being a Jew. But he wouldn't even let me speak and actually told me to just "Shut up! You're so stupid!"

At that point, I knew it was useless. He wasn't going to listen and neither would anyone else. I just stood up, gathered my books and materials and left. No one bothered to tell me I didn't have to go, to forget it. Everyone was embarrassed and everyone was assuming that I was some sort of racist Jew-hater, which couldn't have been further from the truth.

See, I was raised in a Southern Baptist home and had gone to church my entire life. The people who were recorded in the Old Testament, the Jews, were just as real to me as George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. I had been taught that the Jews were God's Chosen People, and yes, I knew about the horrors of The Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me then, or ever, to look down on someone because they were Jewish. To me, that would have been the same as saying I looked down on Jesus, because he was a Jew himself! It had been exciting to me to think that I was going to actually get to talk to someone who for all I knew, could have been related to King David. Gosh, these were the people God brought out of Egypt. God spoke to these people! In fact, when I was much younger, I believed that because Jesus said we would be like him, that he meant we would all turn into Jews so instead of telling people I had become a Christian, I told people that I had become a Jew. My dad had to talk me out of that one.

I never got the opportunity to explain any of that to that poor girl, and I never had the chance to explain it to my friends and especially the guy who had cut me down so hurtfully. It still hurts me today to think that they thought I was trying to put that girl down. Nothing could have been further from the truth.