Things I Hate, In No Particular Order
Turning on the kitchen faucet only to discover the spray attachment, which is pointed at my face, is on automatic pilot.
Sneezing and biting my tongue in the process.
Sneezing immediately after applying mascara.
Pouring a bowl of cereal and then discovering there is no milk.
Eating at a restaurant, enjoying the service and the food, and then while on the way out seeing the health rating is lower than an “A”.
Standing at a salad bar and watching a small child stick their hands into things while the non-attentive adult in charge merely smiles as though everything is alright.
Reaching into the ice tray at home and discovering there is no ice.
Squeezing the shampoo bottle and nothing coming out until I look up, at which time I get an eye full of shampoo.
Spraying hairspray directly into my eyes.
Hearing a crunching sound from under one of the tires one morning and then discovering that the sunglasses I thought I lost aren’t lost anymore.
Getting up in the middle of the night with a sore neck and after putting muscle rub on the sore spot, forgetting to wash my hands and then rubbing my eyes.
Following the theme of the one above, discovering that there must have been a spot of Thai hot sauce on one of my fingers when I rubbed my eye because then my eye was on fire.
Pulling up beside someone in another car and casually glancing over to see that someone is attending to a personal hygiene issue and thinks that s/he is magically invisible to everyone.
Not being appreciated for my simple and yet timesaving devices. For example, using a metal garden rake to roast multiple hot dogs over an open fire. All I have to say on that is, it worked didn’t it?
Sneezing and biting my tongue in the process.
Sneezing immediately after applying mascara.
Pouring a bowl of cereal and then discovering there is no milk.
Eating at a restaurant, enjoying the service and the food, and then while on the way out seeing the health rating is lower than an “A”.
Standing at a salad bar and watching a small child stick their hands into things while the non-attentive adult in charge merely smiles as though everything is alright.
Reaching into the ice tray at home and discovering there is no ice.
Squeezing the shampoo bottle and nothing coming out until I look up, at which time I get an eye full of shampoo.
Spraying hairspray directly into my eyes.
Hearing a crunching sound from under one of the tires one morning and then discovering that the sunglasses I thought I lost aren’t lost anymore.
Getting up in the middle of the night with a sore neck and after putting muscle rub on the sore spot, forgetting to wash my hands and then rubbing my eyes.
Following the theme of the one above, discovering that there must have been a spot of Thai hot sauce on one of my fingers when I rubbed my eye because then my eye was on fire.
Pulling up beside someone in another car and casually glancing over to see that someone is attending to a personal hygiene issue and thinks that s/he is magically invisible to everyone.
Not being appreciated for my simple and yet timesaving devices. For example, using a metal garden rake to roast multiple hot dogs over an open fire. All I have to say on that is, it worked didn’t it?
posted by PeachCobbler | 9:36 PM
1 Comments:
Wow, what I could do with a rake that had fourteen teeth! That would definitely make for an efficient assembly line process with the ‘dogs. I won’t lie…there was some laughter when I trotted out my device. But the efficiency soon silenced them until that lone voice from somewhere asked, “What’s next…burgers on hot snow shovels?” Sure, laugh. But one day, they’ll be dialing up QVC and plunking down $29.95 for my idea. One day.
This planarian worms thing….is it really a good idea to use the word “worms” in a sentence so close to the words “smart food”?
You know something else? Your cayenne pepper cream story reminded me of an incident with dishwasher fluid that occurred a few years ago. I’ll just say that the stuff is caustic so be careful to not get it in your nose. Just trust me on this one.
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